


unrequited love ;;

by cosmicking



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Unrequited Love, because im not feeling satanic today, but lol it's totally requited, i can usually only write from gabe's perspective but not with this, i fucking hate this so much, just thrown in somewhere, some kind of hurt/comfort, they just dont know it yet, this fanart has been haunting me since the first time i've laid eyes on it, yall know im in pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 02:20:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9798209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicking/pseuds/cosmicking
Summary: based on this post: http://hinoart.tumblr.com/post/155892377122/unrequited-love





	

**Author's Note:**

> suffer with me this art will haunt me to death  
> i might write an alt to this idk yet, there might be several

He doesn't notice it at first.

Or, if he does, he pretends not to. He pretends not to notice how Gabe has started sitting closer to him, maybe he always sat like that, with his head on his shoulder. He doesn't notice when Gabriel's laugh starts to ring out longer and louder, or when his gaze lingers a little too long and starts to trail away from him. How his eyes look a little bit darker every time they talk, and how he always seems to have something on the tip of his tongue, but he can never find the right time to say what he wants. or figure out how to string together what he wants to say. Jack doesn't notice how Gabe's eyes trail his lips, seeming to trace every single freckle on his face before flicking away and breathing in and moving to another topic. He's always been like that, Jack tells himself. He'd always be building himself up from something, trying to draw out any bit of courage or thought it might take to do what he wants to do.

(Except he totally does notice, his heart screams about it, but his head is too thick to let it come through.)

Jack recalls the nights where all he can remember is seeing white and tasting bile. He can taste the bitter, coppery blood in his mouth and smell it from the others. He can remember, an equally as shaky but comforting hand on his back, telling him he'll be okay, he knows they'll both make it through. Though he's in a daze, he silently knows that it's helping, if not physically then to his mentality. Gabriel pushes down his own pain for the man, he always has. Even if it feels like every muscle in his body is being torn apart, he would still try to comfort Jack, even if it was with his last dying breath.

(Jack's never given it much thought, but he'd do the same.)

He might notice. He just doesn't realize that the man may love him until he flat-out tells him. They were together on the couch, and yes, Jack was leaning on his arm, but he swears it to be the only comfortable position on that couch. Jack freezes, the hand flipping channels with the remote pausing for just a moment. Gabe's eyes are patient, his hands are calm. He said it without thinking, and though his heart was racing, no one could tell. Jack might've been able to by the way his finger went to scratch behind his ear like he'd just told a long held secret that he really made no effort in hiding. He propped himself up on his arm, trying not to let out an awkward laugh. He didn't want to believe it. Of course he didn't. Gabe was his best friend, why should he have to think of him as anything more?

After a long, drawling silence, Jack finally spoke. The words hung in the air, they felt like a question. 

"I don't know, Gabe. I just don't know. I don't know how I feel."

His smile only had a twinge of sadness and disappointment, and Jack could feel it. His dark eyes sparkled like stars as he said "That's alright, I can wait."

Little did Gabriel know, for hours after, Jack couldn't stop thinking. It wasn't so irrational to think that Gabriel could love him, but Jack love Gabriel? Hell, he'd never even been in a serious relationship! He lied awake for hours on end, not knowing what to say or do with the other man. It was going to be awkward, he didn't want that. It was going to be awkward if they kept doing those things, if he kept letting Gabe lean on him, let him comfort him. He couldn't lean on Gabriel's arms the way he always would, and the way they trained together would even be awkward! For the next few weeks, Jack was nothing more than a walking zombie. He started pushing Gabe farther and farther from him. He hadn't realized it at the time. Jack didn't realize the lingering glances, the oh so sad stare of "I fucked up, please forgive me." He couldn't get out of his own head enough to look at the man, let alone ponder what he could be thinking or feeling. It hurt, not having him there, Jack hadn't realized the emptiness that had been filling him, but it ached.

It ached even more when the once patient man cornered him. He didn't demand an answer, just looked at Jack with sad, hopeful eyes. Gabe knew why the other man was avoiding him, and the look on his face screamed "I'm sorry, it's all my fault, I shouldn't have opened my big mouth." But he didn't say a word, which made Jack swallow around thickness in his throat that he hadn't felt before. He dug his nails into his palms as he looked at Gabe in full. His once tan skin looked paler than usual, his eyes bearing darker bags. They lost their shine, Jack thought to himself. They lost their shine and their patience and if Jack thought he was in pain, Gabriel's was tenfold.

"You don't know how you feel, that's fine. This isn't about love right now, this is about losing my best friend." Gabe's voice was low and serious, and the amount of times that Jack heard that voice, he could count on one hand. He relaxed a bit, but the pain in his throat stayed. "Just please, please, do not let me lose you because of my feelings." Jack thought to himself, making the thickness in his throat tighten. 

Jack took a breath, some of his muscles relaxing a bit. Relief flooded him, but he couldn't figure out why. "Okay," He said, swallowing around the tightness in his throat. "Okay."

They'd slowly settled back into what was normal of them, just without as much physical contact. Gabriel avoided staring as much as he possibly could, but still stole looks when he knew Jack wouldn't look toward him. He always seemed a bit more faraway, he wasn't as focused on Gabe as he used to be. Gabe missed the physical contact, of course, but they were friends. Good friends. He wasn't going to push Jack to figure anything out too soon, or too fast. He slowly came to terms with the fact that Jack may never return his feelings. It hurt like a bitch. Gabriel Reyes rarely cried, but one night while he was alone, he had thought to himself too long and too hard about the golden boy that had taken over so much of his life, and he started laughing. The laughing turned to tears, which turned to watery giggling, with a few fucks and shits thrown in whenever he thought about how he smiled, or how his nose crinkled when he laughed, or the way he looked at him after they hadn't talked for what felt like forever, baby blue eyes so confused and he doesn't know what he wants and it breaks him, but it does so silently. God, love is such an unforgiving, relentless hell. The ache in his chest tells him that.

So Gabriel didn't notice at first when Jack starts leaning on him again. He doesn't notice when Jack lets him comfort him, hell, comes to him to cry. Calls him when he's in pain, or when he feels alone. Slowly, though, he does start to notice, and when he does, it terrifies him. His hopes slowly start to rise again, and the ache in his stomach pulsates, saying that it doesn't matter. He's just becoming comfortable again. Don't hope for more, don't hope for more. Jack starts to fall asleep on him again, and Gabe can bet his life that he doesn't even know he's doing it. He feels as if the other man forgot about any sort of feelings he might've had. He might just simply not care. It doesn't surprise him. He isn't going to let himself be lead on. Gabe wants to let this go for a while. He's still terrified as all hell of losing Jack, no doubt in his mind about that. He feels like, no matter what he does, he'll end up fucking this up somehow. He doesn't end up letting it go for long. Knowing himself, he'd probably do something stupid, like kiss him while listening to him babble about whatever, or start snuggling up to him, or pressing him against a wall, or just yelling at him and telling him to stop fucking with his emotions already.

It's near Valentines, of course it is. They're giving out roses in the mess hall. Against all of his better judgement, Gabriel grabs one. Forget-me-not blue. Seems fitting for the situation, he snorts to himself. He examines it, careful not to prick his fingers. Blue roses meant the impossible, the unattainable. That's what Jack felt like to him, he thinks, but brushes off the thought as soon as it comes. He takes a breath, trying to compose himself. He mechanically walks to Jack's dorm, barely even breathing along the way. He raps on the door patiently, nearly flinching when Jack answers. Jack invites him in, and for a while, they just talk like normal. Well, as normal as you can talk when one of you is just casually hiding a rose behind your back. Finally, a silence breaks between the two men, and Gabe pulls the rose. Jack stares at it for a bit. 

"I know you said you didn't know. And that's alright. I thought you might've forgotten..." Gabe twirls the rose in his fingers, and Jack's eyes flicker to his face. His patient eyes are back, and goddammit so is the inexplicable ache in Jack's chest. His face flushes bright red. He never forgot. How could he? Gabriel inches closer. Jack braces for his touch but it doesn't come. He squeezes his eyes shut. Why is he so far still? He doesn't like this distance, and he still doesn't know why. It hurts. God, it hurts. Why does it have to hurt? 

"Gabe..." He said, his tone shushed and begging. He didn't know what he was begging for, but he wanted something. The man took one more step, tucking the flower behind Jack's ear. Jack flinched at the touch. He didn't mean to flinch at it, but the way Gabe backed away, the same sad smile on his face, he knew he noticed it. His eyes had the same patient, longing spark in them. He missed Gabe's touch already, he wanted him to hold him. When did he start feeling like this? His eyes snapped open. 

"It's okay. I can wait a little longer." 

He slowly starts to leave, Jack doesn't want him to go. He tries to form words, tries to tell him to stay, but he still can't figure out why. This can't be love, he doesn't want this to be love. Love always ended so horribly, so tragically, no matter what. He doesn't want to lose him like that, he doesn't want to lose him at all.

When Jack heard his own door close, that's when he knew. This is love. But this isn't some movie bullshit love where he can chase after the one he wants, this is reality. And in reality, he's frozen where he stands. He doesn't know how to feel, what he's feeling. It's new, it hurts, he wants Gabriel to come back. He doesn't want him to wait anymore. He collapses on the bed, the emotions hitting him all at once like a truck. He loves him, how long has it been? He doesn't want to admit that it's always been there, scratching under his skin. He ignored it for as long as he possibly could. He didn't want to accept that he hurt Gabriel, his best friend, his... his crush, the man he loved for so long, without even taking time to think about it. 

But he still waits. He waits weeks. He doesn't have the courage, he's not sure how Gabriel does. In battle, he's messy. He ends up in the infirmary more than once because of his own stupidity. He can't count the amount of times he's heard "Get your head out of the clouds, princess!" in the past month alone. Gabriel yells at him every single time, telling him that the injections aren't done yet and that he isn't some superhuman. He laughs every time, ignoring him of course, because he can't help himself. When they finally get a quiet moment, Jack takes a leap. 

"I'm... sorry Gabi. I'm sorry I hurt you."

Gabe's stupid smile came back on his face, and it annoys Jack for whatever reason. "Don't worry about it." 

That pisses Jack off more. "Don't worry about it?!" He practically squeals, "All I've been doing is worrying about it! I never wanted to hurt you. I just... I didn't know how I felt." He trails off, running a hand through his hair.

The other man raised a brow. "Didn't know?"

Jack was a babbler. He could drone on and on about a topic forever, just going on about different points, probably to distract himself from something. He could never talk about things that mattered unless they didn't have to do with his emotions directly. He would always dodge the topic somehow, whether it be with a laugh or a change of subject, or some kind of other activity. Jack didn't take any of those options out this time. He looked at Gabe, intense and fierce, as he pulled the man to him by his shirt. Gabe grunted in surprise as their lips met, electricity burning from his face to his entire body, making every muscle tingle. Jack pushed into it, slowly moving his hands up, teasing at Gabe's lip with his tongue. Neither of the men could find it in them to close their eyes, they both had to make sure that this was real that they were real. Jack broke away before it could turn into something else. It was just supposed to be something to shut him up, to shut them both up. 

"You don't have to wait anymore, Gabi."

**Author's Note:**

> IM NOT ONE FOR MULTICHAPTER FICS THEY NEVER GET FINISHED BUT I WOULD 900% REWRITE THIS AS ONE  
> *update  
> I FUCKING HATE MYSELF BECAUSE I JUST REMEMBERED THAT BLUE ROSES SYMBOLIZE THE IMPOSSIBLE AND UNATTAINABLE AND BY GOD THAT HURTS ME SO MUCH GABRIEL WHY DO YOU DO THESE THINGS U DRAMATIC FUCK


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